Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone! You know, the holiday Americans hold dear and Mexicans actually don’t! Enjoy!
Tag Archives: news
From the What Had Happened Was files…Totowa, NJ
Talk about STUPID…
What had happened was…four guys from beautiful Paterson, NJ were parked at a State Troopers barrack, waiting for one of their felonious friends to get his car out of impound. At the same time, a trooper who was loading his car for his overnight shift, smelled a little something funny. He looks three cars over and notices a car full of
gang members upstanding citizens “killing time” while they wait for their buddy. (Getting a car out of impound must take a while!) Long story short, he radios for a few more troopers, they search the car, and come up with 15 ziplock bags of pot and 14 Ecstasy tabs, and they all get arrested. Oh, and don’t forget the outstanding warrants two of them had.
The trooper quoted in the article sums it up nicely:
“I will say this: They didn’t make the brightest decision on where to smoke their pot.”
I’d post their mug shots, but I don’t feel like having the guy sporting the tear drop tattoos finding me, so if you’d like to see for yourself, click the link.
Brilliant move guys…seriously, brilliant….but on the upside, you’re totally in the running for the What Had Happened Was Article of the Year…and so far, you’re winning! Good luck with that!
From the What Had Happened Was files…
I’m going to keep this short and sweet because it’s just too easy…
What had happened was …Lawrence Urban, a massage therapist at Therapeutic Stress Free Massage Center in Cascade Township, Michigan was arrested for inappropriately touching a customer during a massage.
Let me get this straight…a customer comes in and pays for a massage…this is the guy who walks in to give the massage…and the customer STAYS?!?
I rest my case.
For any of you wishing to be a part of the Snowflake Project for the Sandy Hook Elementary School, there has been an address correction! Please send your glittery, beautiful snowflakes to the following address:
60 Connolly Parkway, Building 12, Suite 103
Hamden, CT 06514
Out of respect for the tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, I will not be making any posts until after Christmas. As a parent and a teacher, my heart is too heavy for humor. Wishing all of my readers a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday Season! Take some time to tell those around you that you love them and reflect on the many blessings in your life.
If you would like to do something nice for the survivors from the Sandy Hook Elementary School, please read below about “The Snowflake Project”. While it is a GREAT project for teachers and their students, it is also something you can do with your own child:
CALLING ALL TEACHER FRIENDS!!! Please Please consider participating!!!!
My dear friend who is a teacher in CT passed this along so I thought I would share. This could be a great project for school, playgroups, or a simple activity at home. Please consider participating!
A building has been designated to house the students from Sandy Hook Elementary School. They are in the process of transporting desks, chairs, supplies and so forth to this location.
Please join us in “The Snowflake Project”.We are asking your students to make and decorate a snowflake. We will hang them in the hallways at the stark, new building where the Sandy Hook students will be returning. PLEASE NO WORDS! We want just a cheerful, happy (glitter and sparkle) environment for the students entering the new building.
Please pass on to any teachers you think may want to participate.
When you send your snowflakes, please include a note to tell us where they are from (your school, class, town, etc) to display along with your snowflakes.
60 Connolly Parkway, Building 12, Suite 103
Hamden, CT 06514
Thank you so very much!
See this? This is exactly why I will NEVER go out shopping on Black Friday! People are completely out of their minds! There is no deal worth the violence that comes with it. Here are just a few of many stories from around the web showing how low people will stoop to save a few bucks:
*$2.00 Waffle maker riot in Little Rock Arkansas. (C’mon…how many waffle makers do you really need?)
*14 year old robbed outside of Bed, Bath and Beyond near Baltimore. (This I’m not shocked by! Baltimore is one scary city, and my least favorite place to go!)
*Man threatens to stab everyone in line at KMart. (I won’t even watch this video, but you can if you want to. I think the story is enough!)
and finally, my personal favorite: Massachusetts man takes home TV, leaves 2 year old behind. That one just takes the cake! I guess it’s hard to hold a child’s hand and hold a 51 inch flat screen at the same time….so he leaves him there, never looks for him, and goes home. What a *&%$#@*%!!!!
These stories get worse every single year.
Here’s an idea…just stay home people. Wait for another day. The sales will be there until Christmas if you pay attention. The above mentioned garbage just isn’t worth saving a few bucks.
What better time to pick back up on my blog than Black Friday/Cyber Monday, crazy-ass shopping time? It’s been a long few weeks here on the Jersey Shore, but I think it’s time to share some humor…you know, now that the “stress free’ holiday season is upon us!
All weekend long, I will be posting outstanding “Oh Yes They Did” kinds of deals and stories I would never want you to miss out on. Consider it my gift to you!
Hello Everyone. Normally this blog pokes fun at things, but not today. Right now, nothing is funny. I have a feeling this will be a fairly long blog post, but I hope you will read it to the end, because I need to get it out.
I live on the Jersey Shore. To be more specific, I live on the mainland in Ocean County, smack-dab in between Seaside Heights and Long Beach Island…two areas that have been completely destroyed by Hurricane Sandy. My town has been devastated on the bay front areas, and torn apart in the inland parts of our beautiful town too.
I was very fortunate, and although I am not the most religious person, I have been thanking God for days for sparing me and my family. I live a few blocks from the water, and by what I think is a miracle, the tidal flood stopped about a block from my house. A huge tree fell outside of my house into the street, snapping poles in half like wafers, and pulling lines down everywhere. Miraculously, my house was completely unscathed. I don’t know how it’s possible, but I do know that we were incredibly lucky.
For those of you reading this who are not from New Jersey, I know you have seen the pictures on the news of the destruction here. I’m sure you cringe or just stare at them in disbelief. You can multiply that feeling by a million, for those of us who live here and grew up frequenting the beaches and boardwalks, or spending lazy days on the Barnegat Bay on our boats see it in magnification. We stare at the destruction and envision our childhoods, our liveliness, and everything we have ever known, knowing what it used to look like, in comparison to now.
I am a teacher at the high school that the students of Seaside Heights and Seaside Park, as well as other destroyed waterfront communities attend. Some of my friends, my co-workers, and my students have lost everything. When we go back to school, my job will be a thousand times harder than it ever was. Algebra suddenly becomes highly unimportant. Letting them come in and talk it out will be the education they will receive, because it is what they will need most. I keep trying to figure out what I will even say to them. What can I say to a teenager who has lost everything? I honestly don’t know, but what I do know is that I will have the strength to give them whatever support they need when they walk into my classroom, starting with big, tight hugs, mixed with tears. I will hide my broken heart. Theirs is broken more than mine.
My power was restored last night, and I have never been so thankful for electricity in my life. Unfortunately, my neighbors here and so many others in my town and the surrounding areas are still living in darkness. I felt a twinge of guilt flipping on the coffee maker this morning, knowing others wish that’s how their day was starting today. I cried (again) when I put my steaming cup of coffee on the counter and stared at it, because the tiniest things now bring big emotions with them.
I will probably never feel the same about complete darkness. I will never forget what it felt like to stare into that darkness in the height of the storm, literally wrapped around my daughter on the living room floor and praying for safety as the storm came whipping through. The sound of the lashing winds is something I hope you never know, and it is something I will never forget.
My husband is a police officer here. He was out in that storm, and has been out every night since, working to help and protect the people of this ravaged town. I had no way to contact him during the storm because everyone’s cell phones failed, and words cannot describe the terror I felt inside about that. How would he know if we needed him? How would I know that he was alright? I never want to know that feeling again.
Speaking of cell phones, we all learned quickly here just how dependent we are on them, as well as what it’s like to pray for bars to be on the screen. Service was incredibly sporadic, and getting a text or hearing someone’s voice for a second was like getting the Christmas present you wished for as a child. At least you knew others were alright, even if just for a mere second, but then it would go dead again, and your stomach would knot right back up. I will say that the amount of people that care about you becomes quickly apparent, and sometimes from places that you wouldn’t expect. I am incredibly grateful for the people in my life that love me.
Facebook, when I could finally get it on my phone yesterday, has been an amazing tool. I was able to see that my friends were “ok” (a term I use very loosely right now), and I was able to get my first look at the damage here via pictures. I thought I knew what I would see because I had listened to the radio in my car for days, but there was no preparing myself for that in actuality. I stared in disbelief, and then sobbed looking at those pictures. It was beyond the realm of my imagination, and truthfully it still is. Our beloved Jersey Shore was demolished. Seeing it with my own eyes made the nightmare a fact, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. We all say the same thing here, after we get our first look at the pictures for ourselves. (BTW, if you are on Facebook, please like the following page: Jersey Shore Hurricane News. It has been in existence since Hurricane Irene came through last year, and is absolutely amazing. The guys that run this do it for free and are like heroes to all of us. We all use it here for information year round, and it will give you the reality of what it is to be here, more than I ever could. It also has great information about making donations to those who need it most. Just be careful to read thoroughly and use some common sense.)
I could continue to go on about what I experienced, but I won’t. My personal experiences are nothing compared to those around me here. Really what I want you to know most is this:
We live at the Jersey Shore, but we are nothing like “The Jersey Shore” that you see on MTV. We are people that are kind, yet as tough as nails! We are people who always stand together as one in the face of adversity. We huddle up like no others can, and take care of each other. Despite the fact that there are reports of looting and crime, that’s NOT who 99% of us are. We are people who will help one another in a time of need, without exception. Even with our own lives in tatters, we are people who help our neighbors. There is no “I” in team, and we all know it. We are standing amid destruction right now, but we see can see past it. We might currently be knocked down, but we are people that always get back up. We will rebuild this area and our lives. We will never forget what Sandy has done to us, but we will come out of this on the other side, better than ever and as one. Believe it.
We are JERSEY STRONG.
I know I said I was only going to post on weekends now, but after reading this story, I knew I had to post about it.
What Had Happened Was…a Canadian dance studio named Twisted Grip and Fitness has decided that it was a fantastic idea to offer pole dancing classes named “Little Spinners” for children as young as five years old. The owner, Kristy Craig, said that she “introduced the class because existing clients wanted it, and so far three girls and one boy have registered for classes, which start on Sept. 22. Her youngest student is 5 years old, the oldest is about 12 years old.” She says there’s nothing sexual about it, because (and I quote) ”It’s pure fitness and strength and fun. I mean kids love climbing trees. They will climb anything.“
Um, sorry Kristy, but climbing trees as a kid is normal. Swinging from a stripper pole isn’t. Any parent who signs their kid up for this should seriously have their head checked, and should go out and change their child’s name to something awesome, like Candy Apple. That way, when they someday become a stripper, thanks to mom and dad’s grand plans for his/her future, they will know it’s go time when they hear “Please welcome to the main stage, Candy Apple!”. I’m sure the parents won’t mind being reimbursed for all of those great lessons in singles someday, right?
I have a feeling the talent shows at their local elementary schools will never be the same. I’m pretty sure the schools don’t even have a brass pole lying around, but I have a feeling the charming parents of these kids will buy their little darlings a portable one, just in case. (You never know when one might need to do a performance.) Do you know what my daughter did last year at her school talent show? Hula hooped, because that’s what a normal 10 year old does.
Way to go Twisted Grip and Fitness. You’ve sunken humanity to a whole new level with this one. Maybe you can get a reality show on TLC to rival Toddlers & Tiaras, and all of those other disgusting assholes they like to make famous. You’ll fit right in. (Insert sarcastic slow golf clap here.)
Happy Saturday everyone! Just wanted to let you all know that with school starting back up, I will have to change my posting schedule to the weekends. From September to June, I am one busy woman. I hope you will still stick around to enjoy my favorite Unpinteresting and Shitsy finds. Thanks again for reading my blog!