Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone! You know, the holiday Americans hold dear and Mexicans actually don’t! Enjoy!
Tag Archives: humor
Camel Toe Solution
Ladies, there are a million fashion no-nos out there to be concerned about, but there is none bigger than sporting camel toe. It is flat out atrocious and can be spotted from a mile away. Every time I see it, I think to myself “How does she NOT feel that?” ((Shudder))
Well, if you are a consistent camel toe sporter, or know someone who is, then this is your lucky day. Cuchini.com has come to the rescue by selling the Camel Toe Solution. That’s right ladies…no more embarrassing front wedgies for you! Just stick the pad in your pants, bathing suit, etc…and voila…you can now go about your business free of giggles from strangers staring at your nether region. You can now keep people wondering what your hoo-ha looks like, rather than them knowing all about it before they ever even make your acquaintance.
A two pack retails for $16.95, and they are reusable. Even Dr. Oz says you need them. What’s a bigger ringing endorsement than that? (Not for nothing, but I’m pretty sure he buys stock in every product he touts before he talks about it on his show.)
Camel Toe Solution…a total Internet Score!
Filed under Internet Scores
Easter Bunny Rolls – Pinterest Fail
If you’ve been on Pinterest anytime in the last month, then you had to have seen this cute idea for Easter Bunny Rolls being repinned a million times.
Seems easy right? My wonderful cousin thought so too. Being that she’s a GREAT cook, she tried them out this morning. ..and here’s what she put up on her Facebook page:
“Hey, you know those cute little bunny rolls that are all over Pinterest right now? They should NOT look like this! Hahaha! Happy Easter everyone!”
Needless to say, myself and all of her friends got a good laugh out of her Pinterest Fail.
It’s OK Cuz….I still love you and your cooking.
Happy Easter everyone!
Filed under Pinterest
Bad Non-Candy Easter Basket Ideas
I was the kid who was allergic to regular chocolate and had to get white chocolate every year in my basket. My parents tried to say I got “special” chocolate, but my brother and the neighborhood kids all made fun of me. Yayyyy!
Happy almost Easter everyone! It’s time to get those Easter baskets together, and I know lots of people look for great non-candy items for their baskets. I get that. My daughter is getting older so now she wants things like i-tunes cards, gift cards, nail polish, accessories, etc…however, I found some real winners today when I went online to see what other people put in their children’s baskets. By the way, none of these are a joke either…people actually suggested these.
Polished Rocks…What kid WANTS polished rocks?!?
Pine Cones…because your child can make cute crafts out of them. Yeah, OK.
Granola…just put it in a bag and tell them it’s what the Easter Bunny eats. I’m sure they will be thrilled.
Veggie Crisps…because every kid wants this in their basket. They also said you could cut up real, fresh veggies if you have time. Thrilling.
A wedding picture of their parents. (I SWEAR someone said this!) “Look honey, it’s your first Easter…and you were at our wedding!”
Fresh fruit cut into cute shapes. “They’ll forget all about the candy!” No they won’t!
Their “very own” boxes of band-aids. I guess so they don’t have to bother you with that whole “I’m bleeding” thing while you secretly scarf down your own hidden candy!
Wool/felt Easter Eggs…because these will provide minutes, er, hours of entertainment.
You can cut out animal pictures from National Geographic, and put them in the Easter eggs. After the hunt, the kids can sort them as to where they might live. Wow, that sounds fun.
An extra 15 minute bedtime delay coupon…how generous…they get to watch half of a show on Nickelodeon.
Buy a few puzzles and put all of the different pieces in the eggs. After the hunt, give the kids the boxes, and have them swap pieces until they all have their “own” puzzle pieces. Then they can do the puzzles. I have 3 nephews and 2 nieces. This would cause a meltdown of epic proportions. Trust me.
and finally…
A pedometer…so they can walk off all of that candy they didn’t get!
Come on…. it’s one stinking day a year people! Give them a some candy and then other things that actually enjoyable!
Happy Easter everyone…and my deepest condolences to the kids who get any of the aforementioned items. Your parents are about as fun as watching paint dry.
Filed under Amazon Treasures, Etsy, Internet Scores, That's Shitsy!, Truth, Unpinteresting
Proof That Drugs Make You Stupid!
From the What Had Happened Was files…Totowa, NJ
Talk about STUPID…
What had happened was…four guys from beautiful Paterson, NJ were parked at a State Troopers barrack, waiting for one of their felonious friends to get his car out of impound. At the same time, a trooper who was loading his car for his overnight shift, smelled a little something funny. He looks three cars over and notices a car full of gang members upstanding citizens “killing time” while they wait for their buddy. (Getting a car out of impound must take a while!) Long story short, he radios for a few more troopers, they search the car, and come up with 15 ziplock bags of pot and 14 Ecstasy tabs, and they all get arrested. Oh, and don’t forget the outstanding warrants two of them had.
The trooper quoted in the article sums it up nicely:
“I will say this: They didn’t make the brightest decision on where to smoke their pot.”
I’d post their mug shots, but I don’t feel like having the guy sporting the tear drop tattoos finding me, so if you’d like to see for yourself, click the link.
Brilliant move guys…seriously, brilliant….but on the upside, you’re totally in the running for the What Had Happened Was Article of the Year…and so far, you’re winning! Good luck with that!
Filed under What Had Happened Was
Good Friday Hand Towel
In honor of Good Friday, I figured I’d put up something “Holy”….so look at what I found on Etsy today…A Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Embroidered Kitchen/Bathroom Hand Towel.
The seller can put this on basically any color hand towel you’d like or she can embroider this onto the following: Terry Bath Towels, Pillow Case, T-Shirt, Laptop Case, iPad Cover, Sweatshirt, Tote, Quilt Squares, ect.
I’m thinking if this out, you really shouldn’t wipe your hands on it! Wiping your hands on Jesus, Mary, and Joseph has got to be a giant no-no. I’m not the most religious person, but if I went into someone’s bathroom, and this was my only option on which to dry my hands, I’m using my pants instead. If I have shorts on, then I’m forced to use their shower curtain or something…but not Jesus. It just seems wrong.
If you’d like to make your friends squirm when they are looking for a place to dry their hands, then scoot on over to Etsy and you can get one for $20.00.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Hand Towel…sigh…I can’t even call you Shitsy…that’d be worse than drying my hands on you. You’re killing me Smalls…you’re killing me!
Wishing you all a beautiful Easter Weekend.
Filed under Etsy, That's Shitsy!
Andre the Clown
Look at what I found on Etsy today…Andre the Clown.
Are you tired of your kids asking you again and again to take them to the circus? Well, I think I found your cure-all…Andre the Clown!
According to the seller, he is is made of wire and rubber, so he’s very flexible and pose-able. Don’t believe him? Here’s your proof:
Think of it as a year round “Elf on a Shelf”! You can keep on leaving this around and before you know it your children will be so terrified of clowns that they’ll never beg you to take them to the circus again!
Hey kids…do you like flowers?
It’ll cost you $30.00 a pop for Ringling Brothers tickets, plus gas to get there, parking, food, and of course all of the trinkets your kids will want. That could be an expensive day!
…OR…you could hustle on over to Etsy, plunk down $77.42 in US Dollars, plus $10.00 shipping (because it’s coming from New Zealand ), and likely save yourself some money and aggravation. What a bargain! There’s no way you’re getting through “Circus Day” for $87.42! (You better hurry up, there’s only one in stock!)
Take it from me, we spent tons of money to bring my daughter to the circus when she was 3…front row tickets and all the trimmings. Do you think she remembers that day whatsoever? OF COURSE SHE DOESN’T!!! If we had gotten Andre the Clown, she’d remember it forever though, I bet.
Just trying to help you all out!
Andre the Clown…That’s (not) Shitsy!
Filed under Etsy, That's Shitsy!
Weener Kleener Soap
Look at this Intenet Score I found today…The Weener Kleener.
Here’s what the seller has to say about it:
The Weener Kleener Soap is every woman’s dream come true. The last thing any man wants when he’s getting romantic with his lady is to be worrying about his junk being as funky as a monkey. Because let’s be honest, whether you’re a macho lumberjack beer drinking raw meat eating homo erectus or a meek and mild antique store owner, we all know without a proper daily regimen of personal hygiene your “situation” will be as odoriferous as the hamper where the NY Giants toss their jockstraps after a big game. Well, worry no more! Because with the Weener Kleener Soap, you will score a hole-in-one when it comes to keeping your “boys” and their pal, Peter Longfellow as fresh as the morning dew.
One size fits all, unless of course, you’re John Holmes. And, hey! Who says you have to enjoy this experience alone? Grab your lady and pull her into the shower with you and have a game of ring toss. Because in this little competition there really are no losers.
His description is so good, I really don’t have anything to add…except for the fact that the warning that comes with it is great:
Caution: If the Weener Kleener ever become stuck, soak area with COLD water.
If you’re in the market for a Weener Kleener, scrape up $6.95 and head on over and buy one.
The Weener Kleener…a total Internet Score!
Filed under Internet Scores
The Beer Belly
Look at what I found on Pinterest today…The Beer Belly! Normally I make fun of things on my blog, but not on this post!!! This, my friends, is pure genius!
Here’s what the company Lazybone has to say about it. (Bear in mind that this company is out of the UK, so they use their own lingo here)
The Beer Belly is named more for its look than its apparent use. Yes, you can use it to drink beer or any other beverage from, however it sits where you would expect any beer swilling blokes belly might be, a bit like a rucksack but instead it sits on your front not your back.
Now your beer starts off on your belly and ends up in your belly. It’s a sort of stealth beer drinking device. Perfect if you don’t want to drink the local grog, just take your own.
Now you can drink what you want, when you want, where you want, with no hassles and for less money! What more could you ask for—now you can drink your favourite beverage at the movies, the footie match, on the plane, you decide.
The Beer Belly, the stealth beverage system that makes it easy to sneak a drink where ever you want!
- It holds over 4 pints, that’s more than a six pack.
- Your drink is held in place in an insulated very comfortable sling under your clothes looking just like a real home grown beer belly.
- One size fits most, up to a 40 inch waist and up to 6’8” tall (I personally think they could sell even more if they go up a few waist sizes! Go Big or Go Home!!)
- You can drink from the tube/nozzle or you can pour directly from the tube
- Holds hot or cold drinks
- Made of top quality materials and construction
I defy you to tell me of a beer drinking man who wouldn’t LOVE this product!! You can take it anywhere, and it fits over a 6-pack!! Unlike women who freak if their stomach is sticking out, men just don’t give a rat’s ass. In fact, they are proud of their beer guts! I know guys that have named their beer guts! If they can secretly drink beer under the radar, the “beer belly” sticking out under their shirt is like a non-entity. This is WAY BETTER than ‘The Camel” you can buy here in the United States that straps around your back!
My husband totally could have (and would have) used this the other day when we went to see some March Madness games. We didn’t even give it a thought that beer wouldn’t be sold at that event, thanks to NCAA rules, so we did almost a full lap around the arena before we had to face reality and gave up. If my husband had owned “The Beer Belly”, I wouldn’t have had to hear him say again and again “I can’t believe there’s no beer!” I can’t believe I’m sitting here watching a game without a beer in my hand!” “This is ridiculous! Me without a beer!!” He could have just pulled the nozzle out of his shirt and drank away happily and undetected. I seriously may have to invest! (I’m actually serious about that!)
The Beer Belly retails for $44.95, and if you ask me, it’s worth every penny.
There’s no way I’m calling this one “Unpinteresting!” In fact, it may be one of the most “Pinteresting” things I’ve seen in a quite a while!
I salute you Lazybone on this product…it’s 100% gold!
Filed under Pinterest, Unpinteresting
